In soviet russia jokes

Anywhere in the world you hate Stalin
In soviet Russia Stalin hate you.

Since when did stailn hate me? Am the nicest person in the world!

That's why!

In Soviet Russia, Death gets sentenced to you!!!!

I think (you) was Seeme :) (Kidding)

???

In Soviet Russia , death sentenced to visit  (Seeme) ,
thats what I meant. (Kidding)

I dont want to die?

Nevermind :D

DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

comrade2012 wrote:
DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who said that? Grigori Rasputin?

;)

Thats a bad begining, they should save it for last.

It would've been a good beginning for G.W.B.
(kidding)

(not kidding) >:(

since everybody is going mental (it is all seemes fault)
i take this topic with two recon squads
My topic.... ???

i was quoting the antagonist from Sherlock Holmes.

I didn't see it yet :P. But I saw The Mummy(1999) and Imhotep says the same line, but in arabic ;).

After WWII, Soviet teacher asks the children what they have done during the war to help the Rodina.

Mashenka raises her hand and says: "I helped to locate and rescue wounded soldiers under enemy fire." The teacher praises, "Very good, Mashenka, very good!"

Petenka raises his hand as well and says: "I went to the enemy t...territory together with our reconnaissance fighters." The teacher replied, "That's brave very much!"

Beaming inwardly with Marxist pride, the teacher then looks around for more students to call. "What's about you, Vovochka?"

Vovochka answers reluctantly, "I carried projectiles to gunners..." the teacher claps her hands. "That's good, Vovochka! What did they told you?"

Vovochka fidgets, looks around him and sheepishly replies,"Sehr gut, Voldemar, danke!"

Last edited June 19, 2010 at 4:02 AM by Werwolf

Werwolf wrote:
After WWII, Soviet teacher asks the children what they have done during the war to help the Rodina.

Mashenka raises her hand and says: "I helped to locate and rescue wounded soldiers under enemy fire." The teacher praises, "Very good, Mashenka, very good!"

Petenka raises his hand as well and says: "I went to the enemy t...territory together with our reconnaissance fighters." The teacher replied, "That's brave very much!"

Beaming inwardly with Marxist pride, the teacher then looks around for more students to call. "What's about you, Vovochka?"

Vovochka answers reluctantly, "I carried projectiles to gunners..." the teacher claps her hands. "That's good, Vovochka! What did they told you?"

Vovochka fidgets, looks around him and sheepishly replies,"Sehr gut, Voldemar, danke!"

hahaha ;D... lol.

In Soviet Russia, Bridge has you.

Cheers

Werwolf wrote:
After WWII, Soviet teacher asks the children what they have done during the war to help the Rodina.

Mashenka raises her hand and says: "I helped to locate and rescue wounded soldiers under enemy fire." The teacher praises, "Very good, Mashenka, very good!"

Petenka raises his hand as well and says: "I went to the enemy t...territory together with our reconnaissance fighters." The teacher replied, "That's brave very much!"

Beaming inwardly with Marxist pride, the teacher then looks around for more students to call. "What's about you, Vovochka?"

Vovochka answers reluctantly, "I carried projectiles to gunners..." the teacher claps her hands. "That's good, Vovochka! What did they told you?"

Vovochka fidgets, looks around him and sheepishly replies,"Sehr gut, Voldemar, danke!"

Can you translate that to english? Not everyone speaks german.

Seeme wrote:
...
Can you translate that to english? Not everyone speaks german.

It says "Very well, Vladimir, thanks!"

Last edited June 20, 2010 at 2:08 AM by blackbishop

In Soviet Russia, t.v. watches you!

Thats scary...

In a good or bad way?

Remember: In Soviet Russia, guns shoot you!

Bad...

comrade2012 wrote:
i was quoting the antagonist from Sherlock Holmes.

no shit Sherlock XDDD haha I just had to sorry

In Soviet Russia, thread ignore you!

"In soviet russia terms of service violate you!"

When Poland was a puppet state there were a lot of hate for Soviets... and jokes about them:

-Grandma. Today is a birthday of Stalin.
-Who is Stalin, child?
-Dont you know grandma? Stalin got rid of Germans and liberated Poland.
-Ow, thats good. If only he god rid of these Russians too.

- Daddy Russians went into space.
- What? All of them?
- No only 2.
- Than dont bother me.

hahaha... lol ;D. Good post paciat :P.

In Soviet Russia, germans zerg-rush YOU!

yeah they actaully do , Blitzkreig assault.....:P

In Soviet Russia youtube blocks you :P... In Modern Russia...

... In modern russia, russian get YOU away.

Quite frankly, ultra-nationalist speeches like "russia for russian" should be deleted everywhere. Even in France we have "La France aux français", which is really annoying  >:(


In America (or in western europe  ;) ), you gain money on the State. In soviet russia, the State gain money on you!  ;D

In Soviet Russia, BETA TESTS YOU!  ;D

Stereotips about Russia: http://lurkmore.ru/%D0%9A%D0%BB%D1%8E%D0%BA%D0%B2%D0%B0

QuoteMoscow, father, son, mother.
- Family, sit eating potatoes with herring "Ivasi!
- Let's drink vodka!
- Dad, may I go and look at Lenin, played on the balalaika and wash our bear?
- You can, but it is hot here, go turn off the nuclear reactor in the basement! And drink vodka! Yes, but where is your sister?
- Cleans the AK-47.
- Well done! Let her drink vodka!
- Dad, but today I wrote a "5" essay on the topic "For the Lenin I'm ready to rot in the mines!"
- Well done! Can the whole class to drink vodka!
- Wife, and where our grandfather?
- It should be in line for coupons for coupons!
- Good for you, let him drink vodka, how come!
- All had eaten, drink vodka and go to watch the Congress of the CPSU Central Committee!

Last edited August 15, 2010 at 9:07 PM by Artillerist

For lovers of anime: Russian cosplay

Last edited August 18, 2010 at 2:05 AM by UeArtemis

The russian seems more dangerous , cause he wont be all dramatic , just run at you and chop your head off....

I dont think you will have time to think that when you see him.

I just randomly found this......

Haha. Funny.

In soviet russia jokes are from the 80's
NO WONDER THEY SUCK

In Soviet Russia, 80s are from Russia!

In soviet russia jokes reverse you

In soveit russia you reverse jokes.

In Soviet Russia joke is you.

In Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia jokes go like "In Russia Soviet"

Thats kinda confusing.

In the US you fire the AT gun.

In Soviet Russia, AT gun fires YOU!