In soviet russia jokes

I already sent that (think it was first post!!!!!)

ford_prefect wrote:
I already sent that (think it was first post!!!!!)

but you did not have a picture  :P

its in there its all good though ;)

In Soviet Russia, government controls corporations.
In America, corporations control government.

nice

In Soviet Russia, Santa Claus denies entry to bad foreigners.

Last edited March 14, 2010 at 1:42 AM by Hpt.Berger

In USA you end wars.
In Soviet Russia war ends you.

Not exactly a in Soviet Russia-joke but hilarious anyway.

uhhh lol?

Win!

I feel stupid asking this but is the Uniformed techie a male or female ?

male I'd say

+1

In soviet Russia, Tool uses you!
In soviet Russia, canvas paints you!
In soviet Russia, Toilet uses you!

......Could't think of any other ones currently.......

Akalonor wrote:
In soviet Russia, Toilet uses you!

:-X

Hahahah

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Last edited March 18, 2010 at 6:44 PM by Akalonor

.

In soviet russia, food cooks you!

In soviet russia, trigger pulls you!

In Soviet Russia, These word read you!

lol this has got to be one of the longest lasting threads XD

Actually it should be ASCAP they hold copyright laws and have some blokes in black suits in fancy cars come outside your house at 3 AM if you do download something wrongly XD. Lol no I have a friend who works for them they send agents everywhere he gota kick because he was an "agent" meaning he would go to places and sell the the rights to play songs. It was a good pick up line at bars "you know im an Agent  ;)"

well,
in Soviet Russia comp stomps you!

Pauly3 wrote:
well,
in Soviet Russia comp stomps you!

+1 
Especially on hard and expert settings!

this is truely an epic reversal.

As Russians say about themselves: Russians do not surrender. ;D

In Soviet Mordor, Nazgul run from You!

In the U.S.A workers work to be paid.
In communist China workers paid to work.

In soveit Russia, post button click on you.

Akalonor wrote:
In soveit Russia, post button click on you.

glad to see the guy that I "trolled" on back  ;D guess what? I wouldn't mind the Finish now, if it meant the Spaniards wouldn't get a whole bloody army in the game

7 Wonders of Socialism:

1. Everyone had a place of work.
2. Despite the fact that everyone had a place of work, no one worked.
3. Despite the fact that no one worked, the needed norm was performed on 100%
4. Despite the fact that the norm was performed on 100%, all shops and stores were empty.
was.
5. Despite the fact that the shops had nothing, people had all what they want.
6. Despite the fact that  people had all what they want, all were stealing all from each other.
7. Despite the fact that all were stealing, all people had all things anough for them.

:)

I know one or two jokes, but it's hard to translater from russian to english, nut I'll try:

Soviet Union, Vladiwostok -Moscow railroad. Two russians are sitting in one compartment and smoking. Suddenly one of them asks: Where are you going? Because I travel from Moscow to Nowosibirsk. The second russian look at him strangely and answers: no way! I'm travelling from Nowosibirsk to Moscow! After one minute of silence the first of them says: Bloody hell, and this is what they call famous soviet technology!

Soviet Union, Kremlin. After long conference Molotov leave Stalin's office and says: Moustached asshole! Then he realises that a guardsman is hearing him - who do you mean, comrade Molotov? Molotov answers -... I... well... this moustached asshole Hitler! For this guarsman - I don't believe you. We are going to comrade Stalin now!
In Stalin's office guardsmen says - Comrade Stalin, comrade Molotov said "Moustached Asshole". Stalin looked at the Molotov and asked: who did you mean? - Of course this moustached asshole Hitler, comrade Stalin - whines Molotov.
-Good, Molotov, good. And you, comrade guardsman, who did you mean?

Last edited April 10, 2010 at 9:01 PM by cephalos

i have a similar one.
1968 Tschech capital.
a lot of people in the metro.one man goes: because of those dogs my family starves, cause of those dogs i dont have a job, because of those dogs my cosin died!!!
Two men from the secret police arrest him and bring him to the station. then they question him: who did you mean when you said those dogs?? the man goes: the capitalists, who did you mean?? ::)

A few Soviet Russia jokes;

In soviet Russia, hookers buy you!
in soviet Russia, the president kills you!
In soviet Russia, drugs do you!

And now, a new Russian-related joke i have just made up;

Two Russian Sergeants were playing cards and smoking cigars when their Commanding Officer came in.
'What are you doing comrades?' asked the CO.
"We are playing cards and smoking" replied the first Sergeant. The second Sergeants looks at the first, then at the Co. he pulls out his pistol and shoots the other Sergeant. The CO looks at him.
"Why did you do that?"
"Cause he was Capitalist for gambling away from the state," the sergeant said.

lol  ;D

Stalingrad
The grimm winter.
2 soviet soldiers.
Vlad goes:  The winter is great.
Michail goes : What do you mean by winter is great?? German snipers everywhere, no food and brutal commisars. Dead bodies all around us!!
Vlad : But they dont smell as bad as in summer....

haha.

In Soviet Russia, um... well... nothing really happens

In Soveit Russia, Everything happens.

In soviet russia bad jokes tell you....

In America, teacher teach class.
In Soviet Russia, class teach you!!!!!!

In Russia, russians love you!

In Soviet Russia, Congressman call you!!!!

In soviet Russia, exclamation points spam you!!!!! -.-

In soviet Russia, this thread is funny.