Nonstop story.

Umm... Ok....

Then Zombie Lenin arrive, with his army of communist zombies and attack neosdark, then...

Seeme runs away while everyone is distracted...

My Seeme(I guess)

I use my Ion cannon to kill all the Zombies and uses a new Vaccine to turn Zombie Lenin into real Lenin. Then we join forces and kill Blackbishop. Then I come back to Earth and recapture Seeme with a butterfly net.

Me and Comrade Lenin put Seeme in a special Test tube and using a special DNA re-coder i made, turn him into a COMRADE STALIN.

Your Seeme evolved into a COMRADE STALIN :))


MY SEEME-STALIN. RAWR.

the tube then brakes.

The area self-destructs.

I catch Seeme.

My seeme.

Seeme wants to be free!

With a hero-like effort, Maxi rushes into Newbies secret bunker and liberates Seeme, hoping that moderators won't ban him for such a belated action! :D

*Catches Rizz out of the corner of his eye with a legendary ban-hammer*

Cranial runs in the path of Rizz, whom was heading for Maxiking, and stood in the way of the attack, which banned him.

Maxi is shocked and pleased at the same time and starts extreme-hugging Cranialwizard and doesn't stop for a long long time. Meanwhile..

Rizz reloads his legendary ban-hammer and bans Maxi and Cranialwizard the second time.

Cranial uses a proxy to gun down Rizz

While that happens, Maxi gets out his World Builder and spawns Seeme, Cranial and himself in it using Scar code. However, the map is still WIP and many many crazy things can happen on it. Currently, the three guys are chilling in a farmhouse whose backyard is currently made by RL Maxi. Evil Rizz and Bad Walki are left back in Newbies bunker and unable to reach the other guys.

Last edited June 13, 2011 at 3:59 PM by MaxiKing6

Then Seeme gets confused and starts running in circles.

In the meantime, Maxi got that map ready and tests it ingame. Seeme is still running in circles and Maxi wonders what to do with him, so..

Maxi decides to rewrite the current patch's EF script and change normal off map Arty shells to drop V1s instead. The V1s start to fall and Seeme (and Cranial) about to die when they are saved by "Sync Error Detected". Relic arbitrates the match and EF decides that there were balance issues involved, so in EF's next patch they rebalance CoH by allowing German Firestorm to fire 2,000,000,000,000 Caliope rockets instead. This creates a backlash against EF and a howl of outrage by RedGuard AND IJoe who quit CoH altogether until it is fixed... :P

Last edited June 14, 2011 at 4:50 PM by Paladin88

Then Rizz and Cope and Dragon and all the other devs are like "Oh my god that's unbalanced" and retreat to their secret beta balance bunker and are away for a while. In the meantime, pariah, Seeme-reborn and all the other non-beta guys spam the forum horribly, so that..

*In the evil balance bunker*

Cranial laughs evily.

Muhahaha. Gentlemen...

MaxiKing6 wrote:
Then Rizz and Cope and Dragon and all the other devs are like "Oh my god that's unbalanced" and retreat to their secret beta balance bunker and are away for a while. In the meantime, pariah, Seeme-reborn and all the other non-beta guys spam the forum horribly, so that..

EF servers completely meltdown and none of the developers are able to communicate through the forums. Feeling guilty. Pariah decides to invest another $500 to EF and they buy another server.

Cranialwizard wrote:
*In the evil balance bunker*

Cranial laughs evily.

Muhahaha. Gentlemen...

Cranialwizard wrote:
*In the evil balance bunker*

Cranial laughs evily.

Muhahaha. Gentlemen...

I smell bad things will be done with balance..  :-[

Paladin88 wrote:

MaxiKing6 wrote:
Then Rizz and Cope and Dragon and all the other devs are like "Oh my god that's unbalanced" and retreat to their secret beta balance bunker and are away for a while. In the meantime, pariah, Seeme-reborn and all the other non-beta guys spam the forum horribly, so that..

EF servers completely meltdown and none of the developers are able to communicate through the forums. Feeling guilty. Pariah decides to invest another $500 to EF and they buy another server.

Pariah is now out of funds and decides to work as a paid animator for EF, being paid from what people donate to EF. That's not much, but it's enough for him to..

...Donate it back. ;D

But pariah messes up the animations completely and so Hartkeks is becoming active again and completes Ostheer animations..

And the pariah is banned for the royal fuck-up. :-[

..but is coming back as "loner". So he continues EF forum spamming, while...

And then is promptly banned again, because Maxi gave away his new name...

...But TheDzierzanPL arrived, and killed them all...

that's not fair, man!  :'(

Anyway, Dzierzan is banned by blackbishop, who survived the slugfest because he is poster of the Soviet Union. Same for WartyX and BurroDiablo.

...but dzierzan was brave, he killed all devs and became indestructible...and meanwhile he ate die schokolade...

which chocolate ???

he's probably talking about what the devs eat :P

Anyway, it turns out "die schokolade" was poison (600000% Dark!). Since dzierzan killed all of the developers (who could have told him what the chocolate was) there was no way of knowing, he can't find the cure so he dies a miserable death as well :)

(p.s I suppose he could have crawled his way to a chemist but I'll cover that scenario too, since he was delusional when he was crossing the road he got run over by a car driven by George W. Bush (which is still a miserable death!) )

Last edited June 15, 2011 at 12:46 AM by Paladin88

I realize this story is about stretching the truth, but the notion that W. knows how to operate an automobile is just way too unbelievable. :P :D

:) I was suprised myself. He was arrested under the charge "Reckless driving" and "driving with out a licence and without proper supervison". His defence was he was fighting a "war against terror". Fortunately EF doesn't own an oil field... or does it?

Actually, the pariah happened to buy an oil field just recently, to further help fund Eastern Front, as well as an armed militia to guard it, as well as the mod team, from the forces of "justice". 8) ;D

OHHHHH S**T!

Now I know why W. was there now!!! OMFG, Pariah why didn't you warn us :'(.

How much are you paying them? Can I apply for a/the job? :D

Seriously we are getting side-tracked :P

Paladin88 wrote:
Anyway, it turns out "die schokolade" was poison (600000% Dark!). Since dzierzan killed all of the developers (who could have told him what the chocolate was) there was no way of knowing, he can't find the cure so he dies a miserable death as well :)

(p.s I suppose he could have crawled his way to a chemist but I'll cover that scenario too, since he was delusional when he was crossing the road he got run over by a car driven by George W. Bush (which is still a miserable death!) )

Last edited June 15, 2011 at 1:24 AM by Paladin88

Sorry man, but i can't be expected to keep track of every single oil field i happen to buy! :P ;D Besides, i only just got out of my 3-hour champagne bath. ::)

I pay my militia by not shooting them when they are working.

Last edited June 15, 2011 at 1:22 AM by pariah

Seriously we are getting side-tracked :P

Paladin88 wrote:
Anyway, it turns out "die schokolade" was poison (600000% Dark!). Since dzierzan killed all of the developers (who could have told him what the chocolate was) there was no way of knowing, he can't find the cure so he dies a miserable death as well :)

(p.s I suppose he could have crawled his way to a chemist but I'll cover that scenario too, since he was delusional when he was crossing the road he got run over by a car driven by George W. Bush (which is still a miserable death!) )

pariah wrote:
Actually, the pariah happened to buy an oil field just recently, to further help fund Eastern Front, as well as an armed militia to guard it, as well as the mod team, from the forces of "justice". 8) ;D

Well these two sum up the story so far :P

Maxi, now in a sense of imperialism, begins a major offensive in the Australian desert against pariahs oilfields. Maxi fields two heavy Panzer armies and several motorized infantry divisions. His attack begins at a beautiful morning and at 0500, his StuKas attack the first oilfield.

The pariahs militia then retaliates with their boomerangs, forcing the Panzers to retreat back to the ocean at 0501. The pariah then buys a replacement oil field, and takes another relaxing champagne bath after all this stress. 8)

Then Seeme comes.

Then leaves.

Then I call in a random squad consisting of Lumberjack Commandos, Scottish Highlanders and some of the finest war elephants from Hannibals grave. Together, they stomp pariahs oilfields once again and in the end, one of my fellow snipers shoots your bathtub and all the champaign vaporizes on the hot desert soil.
My pariah, my oilfields. I make my self "Great Rabbi of Australia" and appoint Cranialwizard to my Supreme General. Seeme is appointed to my courts cutup.

The pariah then takes this opportunity to invade Germany, taking it over. Time to buy another oil field, me thinks.

Pariah's request for an oilfield is met with skeptism from Germany's Greenpeace who believe oil fields damage the enviroment.

http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5049027

They decide to take the proposal to court. Pariah is asked to hire a lawyer...

Last edited June 15, 2011 at 12:12 PM by Paladin88

The pariah uses his boomerang militia to forcefully take the oil field, and bleed the country dry.

Then Maxi arrives with a watering can.

But cranial flies with a Henschel and scares Maxi and causes him to drop the watering can.

However, the watering can contained radioactive acid and now everything is contaminated. Germany now looks like Megaton in Fallout 3.

This country ain't no good no more. Time to rape France, now.

I'm German. I'm not allowed to rape France. Could anyone else do it, please?
Errm and yeah - Me is still "Great Rabbi of Australia" :P

Ì need a new home. ;)

Maxi (opens MineCraft, builds a little house out of dirt, exports it to RL and places it in the middle of France):
"Here you are!"