EF mod joke

1. Q: What is the most powerful weapon in the game?
A: Strelky, of course. They can destroy the whole world when they die

2. Q: What is the most persistent creature on earth, that can survive even the Russian winter?
A: bugs

3. Q: Which country have the most advance technology in the entire war?
A: The US. What country else can create a tank that can shoot shells without a gun and allow their crew full 360 degree view inside the tank?

4. Q: How much did our NKVD officers hate the enemy?
A: Less than upon our own men

Ha! I like number 2.

Nice ones

5. Q: Would you make battle plans when the game is loading?
A: No, because when the loading is finished the war is already over

6. Q: Why our NKVD officers equipped with submachine gun now?
A: You know, a conscript squad is too large for a pistol to maintain discipline

7. Q: Can the Soviet Union survive the war singlehandedly without aids from the Western Allies?
A: Absolutely not. Look, our buildings are from American, our MGs are British, our Ingenery use American marked torch when repairing, even our patriotic officer comrades use American pistols!

8. Q: Why tank is our key to victory?
A: Because the fascists would be sickened by the stupid track noise from our tank engines and quit the game

9. Q: Why conscripts only get Molotov Cocktails with the addition of NKVD
A: He's a NKVD, of course he has access to special vodka ration!

10. Q: Why our glorious soldiers cannot convert a civilian building into a productive forward base?
A: Reflecting history. Did our soldiers do anything productive in occupied zone?

11. Q: Where is our female comrades?
A: Well.......thats a reason why we can spawn fresh son of the Motherland that quick from the little tent, and why theres only beds in the tent

Last edited June 10, 2010 at 1:52 PM by moknin

kewl

those jokes are pretty neat

LOL this really killed me  ;D ;D ;D

#6 is awesome  ;D

we need to make this man a badge

'EF Humour Expert'

I second that!

Wordsmith= Official EF comic maker

moknin= Offical EF Humour Expert

Akalonor= So called Annoying EF person



What am I?

Seeme= EF debby Downer

I didn't get the strelky, tank, loading ones.

But the pistols Sovioets use in this game aren't Colt M1911's, they're TT-33's, who's design is based off of the colt.

nvm about seeme ,Hyper Sniper999 is the new Debby Downer.

Akalonor wrote:
nvm about seeme ,Hyper Sniper999 is the new Debby Downer.

Wait, what does the Debby Downer do? :-\
Is it for not understanding a few of te jokes? Is it because of the pistol thing?

Seeme = New EF Official Official Official People Maker.

no. Seeme = Unofficial Official Official People maker.
and Lord Rommel = High King of EF

Akalonor you said that I was the people maker >:(

You are , you are the Unofficial Official Official people maker.
you can't be Official because High King LR didn't say so.

HyperSniper999 wrote:
I didn't get the strelky, tank, loading ones.

But the pistols Sovioets use in this game aren't Colt M1911's, they're TT-33's, who's design is based off of the colt.

Strelky - refer to the 1.10 bug which the game crush when a strelky die

Tank - which one? if you are talking about "the most advance tech" one its refer to the lend-lease shamen have no turret bug. If you are talking about the "tank is the key for victory" one its refer to the unusual noisy and ugly Soviet tank engine noise

Loading  - Dont know about u guys but it takes ages for me to load the game however low the graphic setting (such problem never exist when I play original COH in ultra), and its not just my computer

In all respect, the pistol of the officers IS Colt M1911. When I check the graphic folder for TT-33 I found only the M1911 graphic files. Also while the TT-33 do look like FN M1903 made by Browning its still different in appearance with M1911

You are annoying, Akalonor...

Hey now, let's cool off a bit. I'm only intervening because I don't want to see another flame war :( Because then the "Official High Kings of EF" have to intervene. :P

Please don't argue. I can already see it happening because people will ignore my post, but it's a plea. I don't wanna see another topic shot down and locked.

You mean the "war" nameing people or the other thing? I dont think theres any "war."

Seeme wrote:
You are annoying, Akalonor...

your not the first to find me annoying :D
but this is off topic ,
back to topic , again hilarious jokes , I'd never be able to think of them.( I have no sense of humor)

Last edited June 11, 2010 at 9:35 PM by Akalonor

I have one!

Why did something happen? Because someone did this

Hahahahahahahaha...

Its a pity, thats the best I can think of :-[

its better than  what I could make up ,
Why did the conscipt run across the road ? , because his commander tried to shoot him to break suppression.

Sad, sad, sad

Atleast mine was gameplay related :P

What makes mine not?

It doesn't have any relation to gameplay :D

Someone really needs to make a joke regarding the unarmed conscript's habit of running straight towards the enemies.

An Officer is scolding a soldier for his actions ,
"Why did you just run up and charge the enemy Comrade, when you have no weapon ? "
" The German Soldier said I could use his since I had none . "

Its terrible .

Its kinda good :-\

Better than anything I could come up with.

Bowser wrote:
Someone really needs to make a joke regarding the unarmed conscript's habit of running straight towards the enemies.

Q: Why our conscripts keep charge to the enemy?
A: What? you say you still want to live under Comrade Stalin?

My god mokin, you getting it from a book?

Nice!

Seeme wrote:
My god mokin, you getting it from a book?

No why?

Dont some more :D

Awww no more jokes?

No double posts >:(

The last post I failed spelling though :'(

Hmmmm What to do ? :|
continue as I said nothing.

Last edited July 11, 2010 at 1:28 AM by Akalonor